Trying To Share Harder Stuff, Part One...

This was actually intended to be in one post with my whole long rambly thoughts on blogging I just posted, but then those got long and rambly. So, thus, its own post.

When I first got here, I tried hard to notice and learn about the ways in which my host family's life was harder because of "the causes and consequences of Third World poverty and hunger within an increasingly interdependent and resource-scarce world" (taken from the HNGR website). I made observations of things like the fact that my host sisters had a much smaller selection of clothing to choose from every day than I did, and I felt great sympathy with my host mom that she had to wash all the floors and do the laundry without conveniences like vacuum cleaners and a washing machine. Man, I thought. Poverty sucks.

(Just for the record, I'm not trying to be funny, these were real thoughts in my first couple weeks).

This is an excerpt from the assessment letter I sent to HNGR after my third week, when I started getting tiny glimpses into ways poverty affects individuals, families, and communities, besides having to wash dishes by hand.

Some background- I don't remember if I mentioned this on here before, but my host parents are actually the foster parents of my three host siblings. Their parents live in Spain with the two oldest of the five siblings (the second of whom is visiting for the summer, which is why I've mentioned having four host siblings). This is a very typical situation in Bolivia. It's incredibly hard to find work here which pays enough to support a family, and often parents leave children with relatives or friends in order to go to the United States or Spain to send money back. Generally the intention is that they'll be able to save enough to return or bring the family over soon, but often it takes way longer than expected. In my family's situation, the kids will be moving to Spain to reunite with their parents and siblings later this fall. But at this point, it's been six years that they've lived here with my host parents (since the littlest one was THREE), so they're really leaving not only their home but the main parents they have known.

"The last two weeks have also been marked by three events/conversations that helped me get a glimpse more into the effects of poverty. An answer to prayer, for which I’ve felt deeply grateful- as well as so sad.

I mentioned that my host siblings’ parents have lived in Spain for the last few years but that they seem very “well-adjusted”. That’s still true, but I’ve gotten to see more of the effects of it (duh, Emily!). Their older brother (15) has come visit- their first time seeing each other in three years. They were all silent with nervousness as they waited for him, and when he walked off the plane all four of them sobbed. Seeing how deeply they’d missed him and how happy they are to all be together made it hit home more just what a sacrifice not getting to live with your family is. Seeing how good he is with them is beautiful, but also makes me ache realizing what they’ve missed by being forced by poverty to grow up separately.

A few days later I had a conversation about it with one of my Spanish teachers, and she gave me more background on what a common situation that is- where families are forced to split up in order for the parents to find work to be able to provide for the kids back home. My siblings really have an ideal situation with such loving foster parents- most of the time the kids are left alone with a more distant relative just checking on them every other week or so, not providing emotional support. She told me about the many teens in her church in such a situation, including one who committed suicide last year. We both cried. The need we all have for parental support is really important to me, and this conversation and my host siblings’ situation made the quote from the June reading about “poverty destroying families” make much more sense..."