Monday, May 2, 2011

Daybook: May 2

Outside My Window
It is cold! For May. Which means warmer than it has been. And dark.

I am Listening to
Ryan in the dining room typing and whatever folky music he's playing- "Ryan, what's that music?" "Vavavoom." Ok, Vavavoom.

I am Wearing
Black yoga pants, red tank top.

I am So Grateful for
SO MUCH. It's been a very grateful few weeks.

Among other things,
-Seeing in retrospect just how much this year was exactly what I needed
-Being in such close and connected relationships
-My mother's loving voice on the other end of the telephone every time I call
-My sassy, sweet, TWENTY-YEAR-OLD sister
-Connecting so well with my families at work
-My small group
-My church
-OK stopping.

I'm Pondering
The fact that joy is a fruit of the Spirit. Which means it not only isn't be wrong to desire it and seek it, but it is in fact important that I do so. Sometimes I confuse being willing to see God in suffering with joy being wrong. True joy is not wrong. It is a fruit of the Spirit. It is something God wants to give us.

I am Reading

1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I'm really liking it so far- more even than I expected to. (I'm totally breaking my rule. Making Room is so good, but so dense. I'm not giving up on it, though, but I have caved in not starting other things, too.)

I am Thinking
About the many people I care about who will be leaving Wheaton in the next week or two, and how much I'll miss them this summer. About wrapping my Illinois life up... three months and counting. See pondering, on the practical side- how can I seek joy where He would have me find it?

I am Creating
I made a simple potato and herb soup for dinner. It felt good to use my hands to chop and stir and to touch and smell fresh vegetables. Trying to be slow, right now. Lots of unplanned chunks in my afternoons and evenings... time to read, time to walk, time to look at the outside. Not sure how that counts as creating, but it does, for me.

I am Missing

Bolivia, actually. I talked to the Albergue staff (Tino and Gladys, specifically) on Skype this weekend :-). I love those people.

(And for real... too many other people to mention. A lot of people I love live far away from me. If you are reading this, odds are good are that I miss you.)

On my iPod
Natalie Merchant's "Wonder", on repeat. Lots of Rosie Thomas. Lots of Indelible Grace.

Towards Being Faithful In This Time
*Lots and lots of prayer for other people. Man, I am lazy/selfish about this. I love praying for other people, but it is work. And right now there are a lot of ways I want to see God working in MY life. Well, one of the ways He is is that when I sit down to talk with Him He gently reminds me He has given me things to do, and one of them is to pray for those He's put in my life. And in some cases that includes praying for people when I have no idea what the results are.
*The slow-ness thing.
*"Being faithful in little things". Taking small steps of love and service when I see them.
*Writing, right now, is helping me to love Him and love others. I am tearing up my journal- I bought a new, large-ish one about five weeks ago and it's 3/4 done.

One Thing I Love About My Job Right Now
My relationships with the families. So, so much. Some of them I have been meeting weekly with now for going on a year. The moms are friends. The moms my age and I just connect so well, and some of the ones who are older than me sort of mother me . I love it.

One Thing I Love About My Living Situation Right Now
*Just the general vibe of our house. It's such a good balance of together-ness but independence. Easy interactions, a good rhythm of eating together, knowing what's up in each other's lives.
*How great they are when I'm sad.

One Thing I Love About Wheaton Life Right Now
SPRING, everywhere.
The connectedness of my life. I'm in multiple-times-a-week contact with multiple friends here. I love that. I love that I feel like their joys are my joys and their burdens are my burdens, that my joys are theirs and my burdens are theirs. I can't think of anything big I'm doing alone right now (thank You, Jesus). I hope they can't, either.

One Thing I Love About My Church Right Now
*Giving Communion three different times last week over Easter weekend, I got to see so many faces I love. Oh how I love serving Communion. I love giving it to the toddlers, their parents helping them hold the cup. I love giving it to people I love, stepping back so they can meet Jesus but praying silently and smiling into their beautiful eyes. I love thinking about what it means. I love participating in the mystery.
*Nancy, the wonderful lady who coordinates the Eucharist ministry. I get emails from her frequently about details and she's just lovely. We had coffee once and it was fantastic, I need to make her do it again.
*The fact that at Easter Vigil (and Easter morning), the kids all grabbed hands and tore up and down the aisles, dancing and spinning and jumping and grinning and rejoicing together to the music. And that everyone loves that. And that it was the kids... and some adults. (Liiiike me. Obvs.)

I am Hoping and Praying
*To honor God more at work- working harder than I "have to", to love on these families He has given me.
*For my family as a whole and for individual members.
*Gratitude, for the many things He gives me joy through.
*For Luke and Christine.
*For the people leaving Wheaton, either for graduation or HNGR.
*For love that is more like His- "...pray each day for the ability to love without anger, without possessiveness, without jealousy, and without fear. Pray to love with open hands." -Laura Smit
*...And, to be honest, that Oregon was the right decision.

From the Kitchen
Tonight, St. Patrick Irish Cheddar soup from my much-beloved Monastery Soups cookbook. Last week, the best pasta ever from the Pioneer Woman.

One of my Favorite Things
Holding children.

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week
My last HNGR small group :-(, taking a lovely friend to get her wisdom teeth out (poor girl!), HNGR graduation ceremony, going with Meg and Christine to look for C's wedding dress!!!

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Human Needs Global Resources Covenant, 2009

As fellow travelers on this journey, we commit to this covenant before God. Lord, in Your mercy, hear these our prayers:

When confronted with scarcity, need, and inadequacy, may we be nourished by the Bread of Life and the Cup of Salvation. Abundance overflows from Your table, sustaining all who come in faith. Father, help us.

When monotony blurs our vision and dulls our senses, may we encounter others as Christ did, through intentional presence in daily life, submitting as clay to be formed into vessels filled with the Spirit. Christ, guide us.

When wounded by the fractured condition of Your people, may we be united by Your Lordship in faith, hope, and love; seeing, as through the facets of a diamond, the beautiful spectrum of Your light reflected onto Your holy Church joined in praise. Spirit, empower us.

When all Creation groans, afflicted by injustice and driven to despair, may the promise of redemption root us in the hope of Your Kingdom: "Behold, I am making all things new!"

Holy Trinity, send us now into the world in peace, and grant us strength and courage to love and serve You with gladness and singleness of heart.