omigosh that's so morbid why would you post that on your blog.

This will be funnier if you know my mother, slash, my mother and me together.

OK. So. As we know, my mother valiantly battled aggressive advanced breast cancer this year, and, following two rounds of chemo, one round of radiation, and several unpleasant surgeries, is doing well. Yay!

So. (I'm home for Christmas and) tonight I had a little mini-meltdown, about the aforementioned cancer among other less important things. There were tears and nonsensical run-on sentences and my face got all splotchy and it was really great.

My mother, being awesome (and patient enough to lovingly comfort ME about the fact that SHE has a serious illness), was sweet and understanding and rubbed my back and murmured encouraging things...
then said, "Oh, that reminds me, I bought you something today! (big satisfied grin)", and rushed downstairs.

This is the part that will be funnier if you know her, but if you don't: my mother LOVES buying me clothing. It is her goal in life to make sure I look feminine and chic at all times. This is a difficult goal, as I spent most of my college career in an oversized pair of bright orange sweatpants (AND I LOVED THEM!).

So at least once, usually more like three times, every time I am home, she comes home with "all this stuff I just found ON SALE... REALLY... IN YOUR SIZE!!!!"... and it's always very cute, and fitted, and usually pink, and she absolutely refuses to let me return just one piece in order to use the money to buy four or five new books ("You have enough books!!! Now try this on.")

Right, so back to my meltdown, followed with love, followed with "I bought you something!".

So she comes back and hands me a REALLY CUTE BLACK PEA COAT. I super love it and squeal a lot and start to try it on and then am overcome with emotion.

Me: Mommm... can you just hug me for a minute?
Mom: Yes.
(She hugs me for a long time. I bury my face in her shoulder.)
Me: (big sniff) I'm sorry you have cancer.
Mom: Me too. But I think I'm going to be okay.
Me: I KNOW!!!! Isn't that just so AMAZING?
(I start tearing up)
Me: Just... all this week... I kept thinking that you could have been DEAD now. I'm so happy you're alive.
Mom: Me too.
(holds out coat for me to try on)
Mom: Now, make me happier.