Oh hey cancer!

My mother and I are sitting in a small, sterile room while a very kind and patient doctor with an Indian accent and expressive hand gestures goes over with us every chemical that is about to be running through her veins for the next 18 weeks.

This includes discussion of side effects. Tiredness, hair loss, are normal, he explains. Other common effects... blah, blah, blah...

He smiles reassuringly at us. Do you have questions? Really. ANY question at all, don't be afraid to ask. I'm here to help with WHATEVER you need-

And my mother immediately jumps in. She does have a question, and judging from the expression on her face, it's urgent. Even alarming. Some word in this litany of side effects and description of the journey ahead has caught her ear, and I worriedly wonder which one it was...

Commanding our attention, she holds up her hands, displaying perfectly rounded, shiny dark pink (dusty rose, in fact) tips.

"You said chemo can cause changes to fingernails. What about these? Can I still have them done?"

Oh, sure, he assures her. As long as you're careful about everything being sterilized, painting your nails is no problem. There are even some oncology nurses who volunteer to do manicures...

No, no, you don't understand. They're not REAL. I get acryllics. I LOVE my acryllics. This is really important. Can I still get acryllics?

My mother, who through this discussion of chemo and tumors and percentage rates has laughingly cracked jokes (good ones, too) and compassionately sympathized with the doctor over the stress of his office politics, raises an eyebrow as she waits for the answer.

I mean it's the important stuff that matters, really.

The good doctor pauses as a slightly less-than-confident expression crosses his face for the very first time in our meeting.

"Um... I think so... well... hm. You know, I'll check on that for you. I'll ask um... the nurses..."

Pause...

"You know," he says, "in my time as an oncologist, I'm not sure anyone has ever asked me that before."

Welcome to hanging out with my mother.

Y'know, I think she's gonna be okay.