Works For Me Wednesday: Actively Pursuing People

For a long time now, I've enjoyed reading Blogworld's "Works For Me Wednesday" entries. The idea is that "on Wednesday you post a little tip you've learned on anything that has 'worked for you' in making your life easier".

I often apologize at the beginning of voicemails, "Sorry I'm stalking you, but...". It's true. I affectionately stalk people. If I want to get to know you, you might as well just pencil me into your will now, because I have no intention of going away!

While I do tryyy to not be TOO socially inept about it (with successes and failures :-)), I have been way too blessed by being surrounded by incredibly inspiring, fun people, to not take advantage of the opportunities to know and learn from them. It's definitely made my life not just easier, but better, richer, fuller, and sweeter.

The examples of the people from home who have been the victi- I mean, subjects of this aspect of my personality are too numerous to name, so I'll stick to friends at school (or skip down to the "Seriously" part...)

Example #1: My Roommate

I had a nice chat with this sweet blonde girl from Alabama during Orientation Week freshman year. We didn't have any classes together, but we would pass each other on campus every once and a while and say hi by name... and basically I just always thought, "Oh, that Heather girl seems so cool, I wish I had an excuse to get to know her!!"

Then in November... Now, I remember it as that we were walking in the same direction and walked together for a few minutes and THEN I asked if she wanted to make plans to talk more over coffee. The way she tells it, I practically tackled her on the quad and extended the invitation without any small talk. Whatevs. The point is, we went out for coffee on the basis of about 8 minutes of previous interactions.

And it was GREAT. I loved talking with her, I loved her sense of humor and obvious heart for God. Sweet. Want to get together to watch a movie? Awesome!

The next time we hung out somehow resulted in planning a marathon of all the Anne of Green Gables movies. Soon after that, we left for Christmas break, and I carefully planned my Facebook wall posts to show that I would JUST LOVE to hang out more the next semester.

I asked her what else I did to "stalk" her... "Well, you just sort of ended up sleeping in our room all the time..."

Yep. And after two years of living together and enjoying one of the deepest and most encouraging friendships I've ever had, I have to say that pursuing that beautiful girl worked for me!

Then there's Dr. Barwegen, who Tamara and I asked for coffee repeatedly and finally after praying a lot asked to meet with us regularly to mentor us. We've driven an hour to her house in order to hang out with her and met her at 8 in the morning to pray, just because she's so wise and GREAT! I've learned so much, and am continually encouraged (and also have an automatic letter-of-rec writer!)

And there's Breanne (if you know her and me and our friendship you will probably laugh now...). From everything I'd heard about her from our mutual friends, I knew she had a heart of gold, was passionate about compassion and justice, and basically was really cool. She has outright told me she had NO idea she would ever like the hyper, "nice Christian girl" who kept hanging around her and informing her we were going to be friends (my awkwardness, btw, is not part of the "Works for Me", it's just an extra bonus...). But I just knew I could learn so much from her, and I wanted to know her for real. Finally, we were at a sleepover where we got to sit down and have a real conversation. A year later, I am blessed to count her as one of my most real and enjoyed friends, and I think we've learned a ton from each other.

Seriously...

It can be so scary to pursue new friendships and relationships. But so often at Wheaton I hear the coolest, smartest people saying things along the lines of "Well, I'd love to talk more with so-and-so, but they probably wouldn't want to/don't have time/would think I was weird...". Usually the people who are saying this are those people who are SO fun, SO kind, and EVERYONE wants to get to know!

With friendship, why not take the first step? Ask someone for coffee (my MO :-)) or to a meal (I freely admit this is way easier if you are a college student). Write someone a note just saying you've been encouraged by the way you've seen them treat people, and you hope you get to know them better! You'll at least brighten their day, and who knows if you'll hit it off and find a great friend?

And with mentors (I am PASSIONATE about this one), we so often wait for people to offer to mentor us. Now, I'm lucky- I grew up in a church with a FANTASTIC discipleship program and am now at a school which is pretty much obsessed with mentoring- I know it's not that easy for everyone. Still, I know that life just gets busier as we grow older and often it's harder for people to take that initiative than we think. I've found that if I take that first step and try and make it convenient for them (offering to babysit, stopping by during office hours), I've been able to get to know and learn from lots of people I admire. As a high school Bible study leader, I sometimes feel bad about it, but the truth is, the students who pursue me are the ones I end up spending the most time and knowing the best.

Stalking cool people... it works for me!

For more Works For Me Wednesday, visit Rocks In My Dryer.