Thankful.

My high school friends and I have a tradition of writing our thankfulness lists and sharing them with each other every year at Thanksgiving. Here's mine...

My roommates

Understanding them better and better

This year of learning to share myself with people and feeling received (even when messy)

The act of receiving others (even when messy)

The beauty, joy, and freedom of messiness

Realizing that I can't send a Postsecret card in because every secret I have I've shared and been loved through by at least someone

Tea in general, and Bigelow's Vanilla Chai in specific

Walking through campus at night when the chapel bells ring out hymns and Christmas carols

Walking through campus at night… period

This campus. The people walking through it. The lessons learned on it. The laughter and conversation and friendship and trying that pervades it.

Christmas lights

Snow falling, which I NEVER get sick of seeing and which ALWAYS puts me in a good, and thankful mood

Nights when my guy friends come over and do homework and laugh and talk at our kitchen table until 2 AM (while we drink tea, of course)

Those guys in general

Christina getting to come visit and everything about that weekend

SKYPE SKYPE SKYPE

Talking to Claire on Skype

Claire's voice and how cute it gets when she's happy

Talking to Elise on Skype and how she's beautiful and real and even though we've real-talked like twice in six months it's the easiest thing ever

People who it's the easiest thing ever to talk with (near and far)

Vanilla scented candles

The look of candles.

Walking around campus and town and having memories at most places I pass and running into people I know...

...having made a life for myself here, one I love.

Celtic Daily Prayer

Coffee shops. And how I am more productive there than anywhere else.

Comfortable socks. Not even kidding.

My church here, and how everyone loves each other and would do anything for each other

The 3 other Wheaton students who go to my church, and how we all have lunch every week after the service and even though we're really different, have gotten really comfortable with each other

My HNGR small group. I love them. so much.

Texting

How we can't plan what we need to hear/learn; if we live our daily lives and just try and love the people in front of us, God will make those conversations happen when they're supposed to

Realizing for the ten millionth time how much I admire, respect, and love my friends.

Vulnerability (I know I said that-ish already. It's been a theme, what can I say). And the peace and intimacy that comes with it.

Realizing that things that used to be really painful are less so now.

Realizing that I learned and was formed by those experiences and wouldn't have changed them (yikes! weird!)

KNITTING. How its rhythmicness soothes me.

And beautiful yarn.

The fact that my pregnant cousin-in-law is having a GIRL (after 2 boys)

The fact that my sister is growing up and is beautiful and smart and a cool, effective person

Piano music

Being up late having a quiet time at the kitchen table after everyone else in my apartment is asleep

My freshman roommate and how even though we don’t see each other all the time we still know each other so well and get so much comfort and sanity from each other

Having a kitchen. Baking. Cooking. Did I mention tea and people drinking it?

Psalm 119

Psalm 73

Ephesians 1

My mother when she’s being mildly (and hilariously) inappropriate

The fact that my dad (and my mom, come to think of it) seriously thinks I am the most beautiful, wonderful, capable girl in the whole world. And that they affirm that all the time and truly act like I'm the weird one when I point out that mayyybe they're biased.

That I got to live with the Maloys this summer

Matt Maloy and his wisdom

Mary Wolf and how much I want to be like her

Mary Elise Gottschalk’s voicemails

Time alone (WHAT?! Did I actually say that?!)

Inside jokes

Affection. Yup.

Physical touch.

Physical presence.

My high school girls and the beauty and insanity they add to my Thursday nights and life in general.

Good conversations with them and how nice they are to each other.

How much Heather and I make each other laugh.

I'm not sure I will finish this for quite a while. It was a stream of consciousness.

How I got to marvel at the goodness of life tonight.

Go see the play (or read the book, come to think of it) To Kill A Mockingbird.

With one of your beautiful high school girls doing tech for it, which she loves.

And her beautiful best friend sitting next to you, there to faithfully cheer her on.

When one of your good friends decided on her own to email all the high school theater groups in the area to see if there was any way she could help, just because she loves and believes in the power of the theater.

And she has therefore spent two afternoons a week for months meeting with and loving on these students, talking with them about the Depression and racism;

for the sole purpose of helping them imagine what it would have felt like to be a young girl watching your father risk his reputation and safety in order to do what he knew was right,

helping them understand what it means that they get to enter into and share that story with others.

Marvel at said friend's beauty and passion, and at having seen that belief in the power of sharing stories and truth SO evident in her own life.

And sit in a high school auditorium between people you love,

watching beautiful teenagers doing something they love,

listening to timeless words spoken, that convey the power of human goodness in that way great literature does. 

"Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father's passing." 

"It seems that only children weep." 

"Thank you, Arthur. Thank you for my children."

"Atticus, he was real nice..." "Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them."

And maybe choke up a little bit. Because seeing people doing something they love and believe in is a powerful thing. Whether it's tech work, or theater mentoring, or defending a black man in Alabama in the 1930s.

All that made me marvel at the beauty and goodness of life tonight, and my great luck at getting to participate in it.