Celebrating the first week of fall.

I love seasons.

I think it was such a brilliant plan to have them-

it just calls us into deeper intentionality with life;

these specific joys, we can know only once a year.

Today marks one week that it has been officially Autumn (the season of coziness, and thus clearly my favorite)...

I have not wanted to waste a minute.

I packed in as many elementary-schoolers, orange yarn, and colorful felt

as could fit in my living room

and we made fall-leaf garlands!

I am happily clothed in boots, scarves, and all shades of red, orange and gold...

I've been joyfully taking note of all the bits of fall showing up around town...

I decorated my house with pumpkins today!!

(It occurred to me after I was already too excited not to buy them

that this was a lot of pumpkins to buy when I had walked to the store...)

The candles throughout my home are currently scented:

pumpkin spice, pumpkin buttercream, hazelnut coffee, and french vanilla.

And are frequently lit.

I made one of my favorite autumn meals for the Fawvers when they came over for dinner last night.

Quinoa with apples, cranberries, and grapes... so good, easy, healthy, and fall-ish.

Adding blue cheese on top makes it pretty amazing.
(Bree my love, note the spoon :-))

The trees aren't in full orange glory yet, but there is a definite golden tinge to our town.

It was an excellent and fully autumnal first week of fall.

This week: definitely baking something with pumpkin,

and beginning to sew Halloween costumes for several of my small friends.

Anyone want to go apple-picking?

Useful.

"...I prayed, oh Lord, let me be something

useful and unpretentious.

Even the chimney swift sings.

Even the cobblestones have a task to do, and do it well.

Lord, let me be a flower, even a tare; or a sparrow.

Or the smallest bright stone in a ring worn by someone

brave and kind, whose name I will never know."


-mary oliver

My prayer.

"Lord!

Give me courage and love to open the door and constrain You to enter,

whatever the disguise You come in,

even before I fully recognize my guest.

Come in! Enter my small life!

Lay Your sacred hands on all the common things and small interests of that life

and bless and change them.

Transfigure my small resources, make them sacred.

And in them give me Your very self."

-Evelyn Underhill

Every word of this echoes deep in me.

.even before i fully recognize my guest.

I had the kind of day where you just know you're where you're supposed to be,

doing what you're supposed to be doing,

and you can actually see that hey, ok God, maybe You actually are weaving things on purpose.

it was some much-needed and prayed for confirmation,

and balm to my so-often-worrying soul.

*******

lest this post suggest something exciting or important happened today,

that's exactly the point:

it didn't.

i went to the church i love

and hugged people i love

and distractedly, but sincerely, worshipped the God i really do love.

i had a couple meaningful phone conversations,

short and nothing terribly exciting,

but checking in and hearing the voices of people i love and miss.

two sisters from church, ages 9 and 14, texted me that they were walking in my neighborhood and asked if they could stop by.

i said of course.

they came, bringing joy and energy and stories of their walk (and a dog).

i said i would love if they stayed if they didn't mind if i did my homework.

their dad brought their homework (and picked up the dog),

and we sat in my cozy living room

and i helped the older one with her algebra

and started scoring an iq assessment.

the younger one ran around excitedly lighting every candle in my house (there are about twenty-five or so, scattered on windowsills and in mason jars throughout).

we finished homework and baked applesauce bread.

their mom picked them up.

and now i am curled up on my couch alone,

doing more homework,

to serve the God i love

by developing the passion He gave me.

my little house smells like french vanilla and applesauce and pumpkin spice,

thanks to the bread and the candles,
which are still flickering around me.

what did i do today?

nothing much.

i didn't plan anything exciting for the girls:

i shared my space, paid them attention, and created a memory with them.

i didn't counsel anyone back from trauma:

i practiced scoring assessments.

i didn't change my friends' worlds:

i celebrated and mourned with them our small joys and burdens,
i connected with two other lives,

hopefully encouraged,

definitely was encouraged.

i didn't crazily glorify God,

but i walked with Him

and tried to let Him use me.

feeling very ordinary

and that my life is small

but so sweet.

*******

i can cognitively know that my small life

matters to Him

and that it's okay that it is small,

but i've been asking Him anyway-

is it really?

the unfolding of these events

some details to the various conversations

and maybe most of all the sense of peace

are sweet reminder.

we are all called differently,

different places,

different actions,

different people to love.

small and unhelpful as my offerings may seem to me sometimes,

i think He might actually have planned them.

me in right now

might actually be on purpose.

If you are a young grad student in a rural community.

Come canning season, your kitchen will probably look like this.

I don't think I'd ever left a church before with a purse full of applesauce jars.

Thanks, moms and grandmas of Newberg, for how you care for me.

Some things that brought me joy yesterday.

Cooking for the first time with rosemary from my window herb garden!!

The mailman saw me as he walked up to the house and knocked on the kitchen window.

I opened it and he handed me my package.

Through the window.

(So I took a picture. Because that's just wonderful.)

The package was several yards of this GORGEOUS corduroy which I accidentally oops maybe bought off of ebay last week. (...Isn't it BEAUTIFUL??!)

Late afternoon sunlight.

Dinner at these guys' house. I love them so.

(So, so, so.)

Louisa insisted we sit down on the curb before we could go inside. "Sit! Moon! Moon!", and she kept pointing and making sure I was looking.

.awake.

"we rejoice in our sufferings,

knowing that suffering produces endurance,

and endurance produces character,

and character produces hope...

and hope does not put us to shame,

because God's love

has been poured out into our hearts

through the Holy Spirit

who has been given to us."

romans 5:3-5

"have courage for the great sorrows of life

        and patience for the small ones;

and when you have laboriously completed

                  your daily task,

              go to sleep in peace.

                  God is awake."

                                  -victor hugo

.alignment.

"We are people who must sing You,
          for the sake of our very lives.
You are a God who must be sung by us,
          for the sake of Your majesty and honor.

And so we thank You,
          for lyrics that push us past our reasons,
          for melodies that break open our givens,
          for cadences that locate us home,
                    beyond all our safe places,
          for tones and tunes that open our lives beyond control
                    and our futures beyond despair.

We thank You for the long parade of mothers and fathers
          who have sung You deep and true;
We thank You for the good company
          of artists, poets, musicians, cantors, and instruments
          that sing for us and with us, toward You.

We are witnesses to Your mercy and splendor.
We will not keep silent... ever again. Amen."

-brueggemann

so grateful for this book that always reminds my heart Who i get to know.

hoping and planning to spend lots of time in it this fall.

.kitchen sink reminder.

I Love Meg.

My Little Sister Is Awesome.

And she's going to ROCK high school.

Boots.

Matching is so exciting.

.langdon michael.

.welcome to the world, baby boy.

you have been so wanted

and you are so so loved.

(...and if you get self-conscious about crying a lot,
eating at random hours,
or waking Mommy and Daddy up in the middle of the night...
don't worry.

they got plenty of practice with crazy
the year Aunt Emily lived with them.)

Emily loves the Fawvers.

God settles the solitary in a home;

the lonely He sets in families.

.psalm 68:6.

Last fall, a random choice of seating at church and a discovery that Nancy and I spent in our days in the same university building,

turned out to be serendipitous.

Over the last year, these six people have taken me into their home, their lives, and their family.

In so many ways that mean so much.

From walks and work breaks,

from after-youth-group-adventures with their high-schoolers

and sewing-project dates with their eleven(almost twelve!!)-year-old,

from family nights to daily tasks.

Thank you Fawver family...

for Saturday morning walks and Friday night movie nights,

for sharing popcorn and cinnamon rolls and bouquets of lavender.

For cooking with me and for me.

For celebrating birthdays.

For inviting my friends over.
For making me laugh.
For being excited with me about silly things.

For letting me stop by at random times and acting happy when I walk in without knocking.

For stopping by when you're in my neighborhood.

For sharing your hearts and listening to mine.

For living faith genuinely and family life lovingly.

For including me in mundane errands and life-marking milestones.

For storing my furniture and helping me move.

For fixing my car (/refusing to let me drive to Portland without a headlight.)

For letting me sleep on your couch.
For saving me a seat every Sunday.
For praying for me.

For letting me cry.

For trusting me with your children.

For being gorgeous, honest, fun and kind.

For being my Oregon family.

I can't imagine life here without you!