I wrote this on my layover two weeks ago but hadn´t gotten a chance to post it yet.

I was afraid to even write this post because I worried that it would be bragging. But as the lovely Christine Will put it, “EMILY! You’re not BRAGGING, you’re talking about the ways God has BLESSED YOU!”

So. With that permission…

A few weeks ago Matty asked me how I was feeling about leaving for Bolivia. When I paused for breath about half an hour later (literally... poor Matt :)), and thought about what I’d just said, to my surprise I noticed that a relatively small portion of it had actually had to do with my upcoming six months. Instead, most of it had revolved around how awesome the end of my time at school had been, how much I love my roommates and friends, etc, etc. Seemingly nothing to do with HNGR (well, except for the parts when I was talking about how much I love HNGR people), right?

Except that, I´m discovering (as I have every other time I´ve done something new and potentially scary), taking risks, stepping out on faith, pushing my comfort zone, etc… is made so much easier when there is solid ground beneath of inspiring examples, of love, prayers, and support.

I leave for Bolivia today, with three letters in my purse labeled “Open on the plane!” (and several more in my suitcase, yay for moms and bosom friends); with a calendar for every month I’ll be gone with pictures of the last three years with my roommates decorating every page (and every Bolivian holiday marked! :)); with a journal with pages numbered for every day, and little notes written in like, “Day 79, August 31. We are starting classes and missing you!”; with a handmade flag to hang above my bed, inscribed with meaningful prayers. I leave having had three friends voluntarily wake up at 5:15 in the morning to hug me goodbye (I would NEVER do that. Not because I wouldn’t want to, my body just wouldn’t). I leave having gotten to have awesome conversations this week with friends and family in Germany and Hungary; Texas, Tennessee, Illinois, and Oregon. I leave with quality time in my living room, at IHOP, Starbucks, Mayr’s car, and Mary Wolf’s kitchen under my belt and filling my love tank (CHEESY BUT TRUE). I leave having been prayed for and affirmed and assisted and hugged and cried with.

Today as I sat on the plane on its way to my layover in Argentina, I realized that for the first time ever my first move when I got off a plane couldn’t be to reach for my cell phone. I realized that today I would meet my host family and my boss and learn how to get to work, and tomorrow (!) I will be traveling by myself through Cochabamba to get to my internship. Me… Emily Goldberg… walking through a strange city where everyone speaks another language… by herself. This by the girl who must drag at least one girlfriend with her every time she has to go to the bathroom in a restaurant.

And it occurred to me that this is probably the most “on my own” I’ve ever been, and I waited for a wave of feeling very, very alone to hit me.

But it didn’t.

There haven´t been many times I´ve felt less alone, or more grateful or blessed.