Dear Matt,

Thank you!! for...

Driving 1,600 miles to pick me up from my first year of college...



Letting me live in your house...




Being willing to go on a million crazy adventures (many of them involving driving long distances with hyper teenagers late at night)...



Giving twelve years of your life (so far) to doing whatever it takes to help teenagers feel safe and know God's love...


Providing, along with your amazing wife, a wonderful example of loving and Christ-centered marriage and parenting...


And also...
thank you for baptizing me.
I don't have a picture of that, which I wish I did.
But I asked you to do it and it was so meaningful to me that you did...
because you have encouraged me to grow in my relationship with God and in life more than I could ever say.
And because I'd be so happy if I grow to be someone who loves God and others with half as much passion, service, honesty and depth as you do.



I have learned so much from and am unspeakably grateful for you.

Happy Birthday!!!!!

I Am Disproportionately Excited About My New Brown and Pink Chacos

Hesed Suite, Spring 09

Christine posted some sweet (suite... haha) pics from the end of the year...

We had a picnic at Herrick Lake for Heath's bday!! (Yay, Heath!)




Beautiful birthday girl...

It was a bit chilly for late April, but our suite always knows how to have fun.

This might be my favorite suite pic of the year:

Then, finals week, we went to Cheesecake Factory for a Hesed Suite Girls' Night Out!


Unbeknownst to me, the girls had planned it as a going-away dinner for me before HNGR!

(yup, I'm crying in this pic)

They made me feel so special and we had an awesome time... we reminisced about our many favorite memories together as an apartment, and we also made (written) lists of each roommate's particular quirks to see if we all recognized the same ones (we did). Yeah, we're pretty cheesy... and we like it that way. Come over for dinner and you can help us sing the Doxology for grace. For serious.



My roommates are hott. Let's not lie.

How much do I miss these girls already...

Update! QUIRK QUIZ:

Match the roommate to the quirk...
Does Heath, Christine, Laura, or Em:
A) Start all her laughs with a surprised "Oh!" sound, like "OH-ha-ha-ha!"
B) Frequently have deep conversations in the bathroom (not GOING to the bathroom necessarily- like, brushing teeth or when one person's in the shower)
C) Cover anyone's sins with a "Bless-his-heart" (this one's fairly obvious)
D) Think any and all butt or fart jokes are HILARIOUS

Hmm, how well do you know the Hesed Suite?!

HNGR HNGR thoughts

(For a change and all.)

At the end of the year, HNGR asks everyone to write down one specific prayer request they'd like the group and others to be praying for them over the course of their internship. After a lot of thought and prayer and for a variety of reasons, what I wrote down was that I would "truly desire to know God HIMSELF and to seek His face (Phil 3:10, Hos 6), that He would reveal Himself to me and be my true and living Bread".

(I'm pretty sure anyone who reads this would have gotten my email about that, so sorry for the repetition :-)).

A few days ago I got an email from Kendra, my beautiful small group leader and dear friend, that made me cry (getting to know her and Ryan and spending time in their great home was so one of the best and most unexpected blessings of this year). Among other cool things, it said this:

"...And when life there isn't the sort of thing you want to gulp up because it's painful and burns, I pray that you will find solace, peace, and rejuvenation in a deepened understanding of God."

I thought that was beautiful and as I've kept rereading that email the last few days, I've realized more and more also how maybe God will answer that prayer in a cyclical way. That, as Kendra prayed, I will find peace in a deepened understanding of Him, but then also that the experience of Him being my rejuvenation and hope (and seeing Him being others') when some of what I see or the stories I hear seem too "painful and burning" will teach me things about Him that I wouldn't know otherwise.

On some small level the last couple weeks as I've been a little emo about missing Wheaton people (which I always get emo about at the beginning of a break, but now I'm a special version of "And-I-won't-even-see-them-for-MONTHS-AND-MONTHS-AND-MONNNTHHSSS!!!!!"-emo), I've learned more about God. As I've worried and whined about not seeing or talking to the people I love as easily and comfortably as I'm used to, He's reminded me that He'll still be with me and with them. When I'm fretting about missing people I'm used to bringing me comfort, He's reminded me that HE'll give me the comfort I need. And if I'm getting comfort from that now (in Maryland) I can't even imagine how much it will mean to me three months into my internship when I'm missing everyone so much it hurts.

I can't learn that specific aspect of His character and couldn't experience Him being my true "bread" and sustenance, if I'm not willing to go through the "painful and burning" and lonely parts. I'm glad I don't have to know what they all are today, but I am excited and grateful for the chance to learn them over the next year. (Slash freaked out, but I know there will be grace for one day at a time).

Random + Birthday

I am currently sitting in a lovely Barnes & Noble café working on my online class (the fact that I am updating my blog gives you an idea of how impressively productive I am being!!).

And I had to parallel park to get here, which I did perfectly. It took me more than 5 minutes (of sloowwwlyy backing in and out and turning by two degrees at a time...) and a cold sweat, but I did it! And I didn't hit anything! And I don't even mind that I'm pretty sure the people sitting nearby were laughing at me.

And this Barnes & Noble has officially the best loudspeaker-playlist I've ever heard. I'm completely freaking out with joy. So far I've heard Joshua Radin, Tracy Chapman, Nickel Creek, and the Once soundtrack. Seriously?!


And... this beautiful girl was born 21 years ago yesterday!! (Isn't that a great picture? Props to Dan Lin, HNGR's resident amazing photographer)

I love you Christine Kirschner, my sweet future roommate!

One of the most generous-spirited, compassionate, funny, authentic, passionate people I know.

Thank you for all the love, walks, talks, affirmation, venting, for helping me to laugh at myself but never laughing at me, for always reminding me that my salvation's not dependent on whatever stressful paper we have, for being honest about who you are and what you're learning and having a humble heart, for loving psychology with me, for working to understand the Gospel and people and teaching me so much about both, for inviting me into your home and your family, for wanting friendship to be about sharing real life, for crying more when I got into HNGR than when you did, for letting me make you go on spontaneous coffee dates with me even when you're tired...
for sharing your life and heart with me...
You are amazing and so many people love being your friend.
I can't imagine doing HNGR (or college, or life) without you!
I love you so much. I can't wait to hike Macchu Picchu!

Mayr

"Marilla, do you suppose I shall ever have a bosom friend in Avonlea?"

"A- a what kind of friend?"

"A bosom friend- a really intimate friend, you know, a kindred spirit with whom I can share my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life!"

-Anne of Green Gables

The other week someone asked me casually what "Mary is like".

Describing such a craz- I mean, deep and complex person is obviously somewhat difficult, but after I gave it some thought I felt that if Mary had to be summarized in just a short conversation, at least two main points were necessary...

The first is that she can make anyone and everyone feel comfortable, accepted, loved, and valued.
I was constantly amazed throughout our four years of high school when no matter where I went, if I mentioned Mary, EVERYONE'S face lit up. The scariest-looking guy at a party, a nervous freshman girl at a skit practice, a toddler at our church, popular kids, insecure kids, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims... No matter who someone was or what "category" they would appear to fit into in the often-cruel and categorizing world of high school social life, even if they didn't feel accepted anywhere, they could feel adored by Mary and adored her right back.




The second is that she intentionally and proudly ate more bugs than anyone else in her Outward Bound group.


That's my bosom friend!


Anyway, this morning Mary and I had a lovely day together. We picked up hot chocolate at Mad City, briskly (haha) walked around Centennial Lake, ran into my old baby-sitter, looked at prom dresses, got soup and a smoothie, bought some overpriced greeting cards (OK, just I did that), and stopped by the library.

Before the library, however, we went to a lake (a different one- whooaa! I hadn't noticed until just now that it was a two-lake day!) and chilled out with her smoothie and my soup, watching the water. I made her move twice in order to find enough shade, but we finally found the perfect spot... except for these stupid geese kept coming right up to us.

We're talking right up. Like, three feet away. I think they just wanted my soup, but it was still a little disconcerting.
"Mayr, do geese bite?"
"Mm... maybe. Let's make them go away!"
She tried stomping her foot but they just poked at the ground by it. We waved our arms but it didn't really do anything.

So then Mary started barking at them.

As in, like a dog.

Like, "Ruff, ruff, geese, go away! RRRUFF!!!"

Because... how else would you get geese to leave you alone?

I just looked at her. She gave me a big Mary grin...

...and kept drinking her smoothie.


Oh, I love that girl!

Prayers of friends.

Last Friday Elise made Christine and I a special breakfast.

Christine, Elise and me at the HNGR Commissioning Dinner, 4/21/09

It was special for a variety of reasons. I love Elise and Christine, for starters (see above photo for details). I also love eating and it is an acknowledged fact that Elise makes a freakin' sweet batch of scrambled eggs. And it was also the last real time we'd have together before the blonde chick graduates and the two of us vamos al América del Sur.


I've loved Elise since the first semester of freshman year, starting with the big friendship crush I had on the cool girl who worked at the front desk and went to Amy's church and everyone I knew adored. She came over for hot chocolate and we sat on my bed and bonded. I've loved Christine since the second semester of sophomore year (which freaks me out I've only known her that long), but we were fated to be friends and one night last spring after our second meeting she spontaneously dropped by for tea... and stayed three hours. We bonded too.


Few things could just make any day better than one of those girls. I've learned from them daily about honesty, about friendship, about wanting to see God in hard-to-see-Him places.


Elise returned in December from a six-month HNGR internship in Kolkatta, India. Christine and I leave in less than a month for our six-month HNGR internships in Peru and Bolivia.
We talked about that. We talked about the last year, and the last few months, and the coming summer, and our friends and our families and our God- as well as the Twilight series, language learning, and poetry that MUST be brought on one's internship (Rilke, appparently). We laughed and chatted and sat on her bedroom floor eating and talking for three hours. Because it's what we do.


And THEN, when I thought I was going to make it without crying, Elise is all, "So I hope you guys don't think this is too voodoo but..." and pulls out pieces of paper with our names on them and two small, perfect crystals. She tells us that she got them in Tibet when she was on her internship, and that she wanted to send something with us on HNGR, but wasn't sure what to send. Space is limited, books are heavy... and she said what she really wanted to send with us was her prayers.

"So I held these, and I prayed into them for you."

Um, forget voodoo, try beautiful.

This is what was written on my paper:

"May the blessing of light be on you- light without and light within. May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great and warming fire, so that stranger and friend may warm themselves at it. And may light shine out of your two eyes, like a candle set in the windows of a house, bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm.

And may the blessing of rain be upon you, may it beat upon the spirit of you and wash it fair and clean, and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines, and sometimes a star.

And may the blessing of the earth be upon you, soft under your feet as you pass along the roads, soft under you as you lie out on it, tired at the end of day.

And now may the Lord bless you, and bless you kindly.

I LOVE YOU! And I'm praying this for you."


We talk a LOT in HNGR (slash in life) about how much it will mean to know people are praying for us when we're on our internships (slash living our lives).


But it still overwhelms me sometimes... just how blessed I am.

Christine Elizabeth

My BEAUTIFUL ROOMMATE Christine created a blog some time ago but hadn't gotten a chance to write in it yet.

However, tonight with the loving assistance of Heather and I she wrote her very first post, dictated to and typed up by me.

And it turned into a really cute reflection on our last two-three years of living together (we've lived together technically for two years but freshman year I basically lived in their suite, as in, I had my own toothbrush in the bathroom- we all think that's really cute.)

So... go read it. And leave her comments so she'll KEEP BLOGGING!!! Wahoo!!

(She says she'll blog just for me to read while I'm gone on HNGR. Yeaahhhh!).

(She says, "We can sort of have 'blogging Advent time'! For more on what ADVENT TIME is, go read the post :-)).

I love this girl.