choosing to not answer my questions, doesn't mean He doesn't want to have a conversation.

all i keep hearing is that He loves me
and He loves them.
...and also, that i should do the dishes for my housemates even when it's not my turn.

"that doesn't explain rape or child abuse or poverty
or what i'm supposed to do with the rest of my life, God."

...He said,
"You're right."

i had taken a lack of answer to my questions as silence.
it's not, necessarily.
which was an interesting, frustrating,
and more-than-my-stubborn-self-wanted-it-to-be comforting new development.
i'd love to say i leaped to be having this conversation.
i didn't. i'm not.
but the answer to, "Do you want to hear from Me,
about what I choose,
even if it's not what you wanted Me to say?"
has to be yes.

...learning how to engage in a conversation different than the one I thought we'd be having?
not sure how it's gonna go.
i don't think it's a bad place to be.


(yes, Matt Maloy, I know you're excited.)