Hands, Lord, Your gift to us,
we stretch them up to You.
Always You hold them.

Keep me close to You, Lord.
Keep me close to You.
I lift my hands to You, Lord,
I lift them up to You.

Some moment happens in your life that you say Yes right up to the roots of your hair, that makes it worth having been born just to have happen.

"Who knows how the awareness of God's love first hits people. Every person has his own tale to tell, including the person who would not believe in God if you paid him. Some moment happens in your life that you say Yes right up to the roots of your hair, that makes it worth having been born just to have happen. Laughing with somebody til the tears run down your cheeks. Waking up to the first snow. Being in bed with somebody you love. Whether you thank God for such a moment or thank your lucky stars, it is a moment that is trying to open up your whole life..."

-Frederick Buechner

Works for Me Wednesday: Prayer Books

I became a Christian at 13. The very first thing that made me think maybe I wanted to give Jesus a try was hearing the people at the Bible study I visited pray- so spontaneous and intimate, as if they really had a relationship with the person they were speaking with.

I then spent my high school career in the greatest church in the whole entire world (in my unbiased opinion). There I was taught that talking to God can and should be as easy as talking to a friend. Tell Him about the friend who snubbed you at lunch and the boy you have a crush on, ask Him to help you know Him better. Use whatever words you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be formal or scary, Jesus knows our hearts and wants us to come as we are.

So that is wonderful, but somehow along the way I got the idea that praying any sort of pre-written prayer "didn't really count". Praying to me was having a conversation, and how could you have a natural conversation if someone else wrote it?! Didn't that mean that it wasn't really heartfelt, or made God sort of distant and removed? Yet tons of my friends at college came from Anglican traditions and clearly had thriving relationships with God using lots of pre-typed, daily-ordered prayers. I gradually gave it a try, and in the past few years I have discovered how much I LOVE using pre-written prayers (prayer books, hymns, daily office, etc.) to pray and connect with God.

Here are a few of the main benefits pre-written prayers have had for my spiritual life:

1) Relief From Anxiety.
This might be the biggest difference using prayer books has really made for me. I am super anxious girl. While I wholeheartedly believe everything I just wrote about coming to Jesus as we are and being able to speak with Him openly and honestly, it is often not that easy for me. Much of praying in high school (OK, and now!) for me was characterized by fear, worry that I'm saying the "wrong thing", or just being totally paralyzed and unsure of how to start. While some of that is deeper issues (for a longer post sometime... :-)), some of it is just plain "pray-er's block". Having something concrete to start with gives me such relief, that I don't have to magically have these great words flowing from my heart and mouth and pen!

2) Gives Words to Things I Want To Say But Don't Know How.

One of my favorite prayers, by Richard Foster, begins: "I am, O God, a jumbled mass of motives. One moment I am adoring You, and the next I am shaking my fist at You... I am full of faith and full of doubt. I want the best for others and am jealous when they get it." Uh, yeah I am a jumbled mass of motives... as soon as I read that phrase I identified with it, but I would never have known what to call that feeling of frustration and helplessness I feel with myself sometimes.

"I believe that Jesus Thy Son has plenteous redemption" (from Valley of Vision). Of course I believe He does, but I'd never been able to put it into words quite so succinctly before I read that prayer, and reading that sentence always reminds me of the hugeness of that truth and brings me to gratitude and praise.

3) Creativity and Inspiration.

There are so many times when I'll read a prayer and totally recognize and fall in love with the way they describe God- but I would NEVER have been able to articulate it so well myself, or even have thought about it. My friend Sarah emailed out a prayer reading, "May the blessing of our love and our strong joy in blessing call out new growth in everyone we know and meet". What a cool thing to pray, to ask God to use us to "call out new growth" in others... but I would never have thought about it myself. That same prayer from Valley of Vision thanks God that "Thou hast seen and abhorred all my sins yet... Thou hast invited me to Thy table". I LOVE that image- God inviting us to sit, relax, eat, be with Him at His table- the picture of relationship. Ever since I read that it's been a new visual in my head when I think about the forgiveness and closeness God offers us.

4) Words To Lean On.

Our feelings so often do not line up with what we know to be true. At least mine don't. Prayer books and hymns give me truths to pray, sing, and repeat when my emotions are all over the place and when God feels far away.

"I will not run from Your presence. Nor will I pretend to be what I am not. Thank You for accepting me with all my contradictions. Amen."

"Lord, You have always provided bread for the coming day, and though I am poor, today I believe."

"Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face, then shall I seek in vain?"

"Come ye sinners, poor and needy, weak and wounded, sick and sore..."

I don't have to wait for my emotions to chill out to pray and I don't have to feel a truth for it to be true. Still, at times when my mind goes blank and my heart doesn't have anything to say, these words have given me a template to talk to God and reminded me of what is true, not contingent on my moods or circumstances.

There are a ton more reasons that I love and am so grateful for pre-written prayers and liturgy... what I learn about God, the calmness of a routine, the way something sinks deeper into your soul when you say it repeatedly, how something mentioned in a prayer book can act as a springboard in my journaling and "casual" conversations with God, the beauty of praying something Christians have prayed for centuries, the connection I feel praying the same prayer as a friend in the same room or continents away.

So yep, using prayer books works for me! For more Works for Me Wednesday please visit We Are THAT Family.

(I love:

Celtic Daily Prayer, from the Northumbria Community

Valley of Vision, a collection of Puritan prayers

Indelible Grace

and my roommate swears by the Book of Common Prayer)

I'd love suggestions for more!

I'm Ridiculous

On a slightly less spiritual note than my last post, I'm com-plete-ly obsessed with the song Love Story by Taylor Swift. I heard it for the first time Thursday night, immediately downloaded it and have since listened to it literally 35 times. Tonight Christine, Heather and I had a mad dance party to it in the kitchen. 'Cause we're hot like that. I'm glad my roommates have found ways to cope with my tendency to listen to one song on repeat for days at a time...

"To worship God means to serve Him.
There are two ways to do it.
One way is to do things for Him that He needs to have done- run errands for Him, carry messages for Him, fight on His side, feed His lambs, and so on.
The other way is to do things for Him that you need to do- sing songs for Him, create beautiful things for Him, give things up for Him, tell Him what is on your mind and in your heart,
in general rejoice in Him and make a fool of yourself for Him the way lovers have always made fools of themselves for the one they love."

-Frederick Buechner

This one got added to the quote book.

"Thank the Lord for every errand that takes you to the throne of grace.
Whatever it is that sends you to prayer,
count it one of your choice blessings.
It may be a heavy cross, a painful trial, a pressing need;
it may be a broken cistern, a cold look, an unkind expression;
yet, if it leads you to prayer,
regard it as a mercy sent from God to your soul."

-Octavius Winslow

I was stressin' today and wishing things were flowing differently. Then I remembered reading this on a blog- and realized that in my frustration I had been praying way more than normal. "Whatever it is that sends you to prayer, count it one of your choice blessings". Yay for the sweet reminder... anything that makes me pray is something to be grateful for.

Road- I mean, BUS!- Trip!

I want to write a real post about it but I'm waiting for some more pictures; but I feel like I can't post anything until I do at least a brief update. Um: so so so wonderful and fun.




This is what we did: Read. Talk. Laugh. Eat a lot. Sleep late. Make fun of each other (mostly me). Enjoy David and Matt's amazing families. Journal. Play cards. Lose at cards (mostly me). Eat. Read. Laugh. Watch movies. Stay up late. Stay in pajamas all day. Lay on the couch. Sit at the kitchen table. Laugh. Talk. Go to church. Cut Matt's hair (mostly me, but luckily for Matt, significantly his grandmother as well). Take cute pictures and goofy pictures. Explore. Go for walks. Go back home and eat. Sleep. Enjoy each other. Read-talk-laugh? So much.

I have the best friends in the whole world.

(OKKKK, the book update is: I didn't finish any of them. But I WOULD have, if I hadn't left To Kill A Mockingbird at David's! I was more than halfway through it (it was so wonderful). And I got well into Return of the Prodigal Son, which I'm loving. And I started Circle of Quiet but didn't really like it. And I never got desperate enough to read much of Shopaholic since Matt made sure to roll his eyes at me the whole time...)

Road Trip!!! Day... One... Sort of

We're doin' it!

Well. Sort of. It got pretty exciting there for awhile.

Original plan: Leave Wheaton at 10 AM yesterday, drive 7 hours to David's parents' house in Minnesota and arrive in time for dinner. Have leisurely evening with the Thorntons and sleep in on Sunday.

New plan: One broken engine, three trips to different car places, four last minute Greyhound tickets and an 8-hour overnight bus trip! YEAH!

We left Chicago 11 pm last night and arrived in Minneapolis 8 AM this morning. Wahoo!

Seriously, we're having so much fun though. We're all so thankful that it worked out for the trip to still happen... David's parents SO graciously offered to drive us back to Wheaton on Wednesday, and then Matt's grands are picking us up and taking us to Ohio, where his grandpa can fix the car in time for us to take it back to school.

So the plans have changed but we're having a blast.

Today we had the incredibly eventful schedule of:

9 AM: Arrive David's house.
9:30-10:30: Eat amazing breakfast cooked by Mrs. Thornton.
11-12: Shower and chill (and talk on the phone with beautiful Mary, in my case).
12-2:30 PM: Sleep.
2:30-3:30: Eat amazing lunch cooked by Mrs. Thornton.
3:30-5:30: All sit together reading.
5:30-6:30: Go for a walk.
6:30-present: Chill.
And we're about to go eat another delicious meal. Probably followed by some reading and movie watching and laughing. Um. Heck. Yes.

Iiiiii seriously couldn't be happier. Being with some of my favorite people with no work and no agenda? So perfect.

ANDDDDD the final book list is:

Bible & Journal (didn't count)
Celtic Daily Prayer (duh)
To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee (deep fiction fix)
Shopaholic & Sister, Sophie Kinsella (funny fiction fix)
Circle of Quiet, Madeleine L'Engle (beautiful and peaceful and page-turny writing fix)
With Open Hands, Henri Nouwen (Nouwen fix, and peaceful-devotionaly)
Return of the Prodigal Son, Henri Nouwen (Nouwen fix, and one I've been meaning to read, and spiritual growth-y)

So happy just thinking of all of them sitting in my backpack waiting for me to read themmmm...

Heather J

My roommate and I are hot.

We love each other.

Emily is...

I'm off facebook again (always such a freeing feeling)... but I have a strong desire to Update My Status.

I love, love, love my Wheaton life. Including the schoolwork aspects, seriously, and living with lots of people and being busy.

But right now... my status update of life...

is SO, "Emily is SO READY to be on break and SO EXCITED for time to chill, read, be with Jesus, be with friends, and be away."

Yayuh. 24.5 hours til departure.

(yes, I am procrastinating on studying a little bit.)

(side note, my friend Anna from home is visiting today on her way to a conference in Chicago! We're having a blast, it's great to see her.)

Road Trip Update

Email received from my mother:

"...tell your traveling friends that from personal experience, trying to limit your books may induce a bit (teeny) of crankiness. 3 is very unrealistic...
love,
mom"

I forwarded said email to aforementioned Owner of Car.

Who may have traveled with my reading material before... but has also (ha!) traveled with me when I'm cranky.

Annnnd, the book limit has been revoked (with pleas to live by "the spirit of the law").

;-) Thanks, Mama!

The crew. We're excited. Road trips are so the best finals/midterms week cure.

affirm. grateful.

...And my God will meet all your needs

according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever.

Amen.

Phil 4:19